Now What?

I'm so nervous. I keep thinking, "What if this IUI doesn't work?" I'm not getting my hopes up, but if it doesn't, I just know I'm going to be absolutely heartbroken and devastated. I know we can always do another one, and that sometimes it takes a few to work. But if I get a BFN after all of this, I don't know what I'll do.

One thing I've already thought about, is that if this IUI doesn't work, Mr. Bella and I need to take a step back, and take a break -- not a break from TTC of course, but from treatments. I haven't even had my HSG yet, and we also don't know why Mr. Bella's sperm count is low. It could be a very quick and easy fix, for all we know. Maybe the supplements our RE started Mr. Bella on can increase his count. We haven't even given those a chance to work yet! In a way, I might be regretting moving forward with this IUI. I feel like our RE was probably a little quick to even recommend it, since we haven't even finished our testing yet. Since there's no known reason for why I don't ovulate on my own, maybe I actually can ovulate, if I lose some more weight and get in shape. I've already lost almost 10 pounds and need to lose another 10 pounds before I'm considered at a healthy weight. Mr. Bella is on a health kick to lose 50 pounds. He joined a gym for the first time ever and has been working out several times per week. He even purchased some sessions with a personal trainer. Maybe if Mr. Bella keeps up with his new healthy lifestyle, his sperm count will increase on its own.

If this IUI doesn't work, we're going to take a step back, finish our testing, and focus on getting healthy. I don't want to do any more treatments until I know that Mr. Bella and I are in the best physical shape possible. Also, maybe if we focus on our health we can still do this on our own. Obviously, this IUI could still work and I'm not throwing in the towel yet by any means. I just always have to think of what the next step is, to prepare myself, and if this IUI doesn't work, then this is the next step for us.