I've mentioned that Mr. Bella and I are having difficulty conceiving, but haven't explained what I mean by that. First off, I should probably explain that I've always had irregular periods. I discussed them with my doctor when I was younger (and before I was sexually active) and I was given the old, "don't worry about it, we'll just put you on birth control" speech. Well, I was 20 at the time, and Mr. Bella (boyfriend at the time) and I had gotten serious, but were hesitant to have sex because we didn't want to worry about an unplanned pregnancy (excuse me while I laugh as I type this, because of everything that is happening now, lol), so I went with it and didn't really think much else about it.
Fast forward to September 2009 when Mr. Bella and I had been married for a few years and were discussing trying to start a family, and when I went off birth control. I did get a period, but it took awhile. And that's pretty much what happened, and where I'm at right now -- extremely long cycles. I began charting my temperature with fertilityfriend.com and have only *maybe* ovulated a couple of times -- it's pretty difficult to get pregnant if you don't ovulate. I tried to get an appointment with my doctor over the summer since I *knew* there was a problem, and again, I was brushed aside. So I waited until my next annual exam which was December 2010 to discuss things with my doctor. She tried to give me Clomid. I tried to tell her about the symptoms I've been having which sound a lot like PCOS, and she said, "Well, do you know what they do for people who have PCOS? They give them Clomid." She talked down to me like I was an idiot and I wanted to smack her. And so I headed to a specialist (an RE) a couple of weeks ago.
I really don't have a problem taking Clomid or any other fertility drug, IF that's what is determined that I need. But I'm not just going to randomly take a medication and cross my fingers, hoping it will work. I thought to myself, if Mr. Bella has a sperm problem, all the Clomid in the world is not going to get me pregnant. If my tubes are blocked, again, the Clomid is not going to help. I like to figure things out, and THEN formulate a plan, figure out the treatment. Why can't doctors respect that, and why do I feel like I know more about fertility issues than my actual OBGYN? Anyway, I was frustrated but I was (and am) ready for answers (I think).
I should mention that this whole time, I've known there's an issue with me and I really didn't think there would also be an issue with Mr. Bella too. What are the odds, right? Hmm...I probably shouldn't think like that. Mr. Bella went for a semen analysis (SA) a little over a week ago, and the results were not good. The motility and morphology, as I understand it, were "okay" but not great, and the count was pretty low. We're headed to a urologist tomorrow morning. I know I shouldn't worry, but I can't help it. My RE's office had suggested at our initial consult, that Mr. Bella begin taking Fertility Blend for Men, along with CoQ10, two supplements that can help with sperm production. I guess at this point I can only hope that either a) Mr. Bella's first test was a fluke, or b) the supplements can help.
I feel like Mr. Bella and I are at some sort of crossroads in our life together right now. We know we're having problems conceiving, but we don't know how bad it is yet. Maybe we can still conceive semi-naturally, or maybe we're both about to become walking science experiments. We also still don't know what's going on with me, and I'll be going for testing soon too. I can only hope and pray that things are not going to be as difficult as I'm afraid of.
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